This is a great point. Having a filter around your thoughts for social propriety all the time is cognitively expensive and it's nice to be able to shut that off. It's nice to find the group of people with whom this is possible.
"Now, was this a skillful way to navigate the situation? Will it help our family build the kind of deep trust that would let us share our feelings without filtering ourselves?"
The answer is yes. There has to be some real danger in the thing you're expressing otherwise it won't work. Political incorrectness is still dangerous and so it works. But the unit has to survive the conversation as well. You definitely won't feel safe if you bring up politics and then you get kicked out of future family dinners! So it seems the ideal situation is one where you have vigorous political conversation at family dinner but all other family functions (phone calls, dinners, financial aid etc) continue as before. That is, you need to be having conversations at family dinner that would certainly get you fired from your job. That's when you know you're free.
This is a great point. Having a filter around your thoughts for social propriety all the time is cognitively expensive and it's nice to be able to shut that off. It's nice to find the group of people with whom this is possible.
"Now, was this a skillful way to navigate the situation? Will it help our family build the kind of deep trust that would let us share our feelings without filtering ourselves?"
The answer is yes. There has to be some real danger in the thing you're expressing otherwise it won't work. Political incorrectness is still dangerous and so it works. But the unit has to survive the conversation as well. You definitely won't feel safe if you bring up politics and then you get kicked out of future family dinners! So it seems the ideal situation is one where you have vigorous political conversation at family dinner but all other family functions (phone calls, dinners, financial aid etc) continue as before. That is, you need to be having conversations at family dinner that would certainly get you fired from your job. That's when you know you're free.
Never heard it put this way. It is somewhat a crazy indictment of how much politics has seeped into the glue of the family unit.